Are you Sure?

When you are not sure, it reflects in your behaviour, in your body language, in your actions, in your effectiveness and in the results.

I was approached by a youngster; I had just conducted a session on Self Improvement for a group of young people. "Feel Confident" was the message that I had stressed on, in my session. "When you start off confidently, half of your job is already done".

The girl, after the session, reached up to me. "You said feeling confident was a major factor in success". I listened. "But you never told us how to feel confident?"

It was a valid question. "Can you please tell me how to build my Self-confidence?" I saw that many in the group were interested in my response. They all knew that winning required confidence - but they were not sure how to become confident!

To become confident is, in simple terms, to be sure. 'Is this the right pair of jeans for the rugged shirt that I'm wearing? Am I walking too fast? Is someone glaring at me? Am I being so loud that I may be disturbing others? . . .' Instances where we are not sure of ourselves, abound. When you are not sure, it reflects in your behaviour, in your body language, in your actions, in your effectiveness and in the results of your actions. When you don't achieve, you get even more doubtful of yourselves. When you doubt yourselves, you are not confident any more. When you are not confident, you would not stand a good chance of succeeding. . . you get caught up in a vicious circle that dumps you within your own shell.

Building confidence is not an extroverted effort where you keep monitoring every move of yours and seeing if you are sure of whatever you do. It involves going a lot deeper into yourselves, looking within and analysing the fabric that you are made up of. To study the deeds of a third person is easy; to criticise the runner who falls is fun; to suggest corrective measures for the dip in the prospect of a risk-taking individual has no stakes attached. But to read yourself takes a lot more concentration, dedicated attention and realisation of the inherent fallibility of every human being. Then starts the step-by-step process of building on your foundations till you know for sure, what you are and where you stand!