Listening is as much a part of being assertive, as is conviction.
People are not individuals any more - people are sets of groups. One ought to be ready for the buzz word - Team Work. While individual skills matter as much as ever, equally important is the ability of individuals to appreciate the phenomenon of groups.
It is here that one faces the question - am I being assertive enough to be heard by the rest? How could I make my presence in the group felt? When everyone has a view of one's own, how am I going to make my views reach the discussion table? Even if it does reach, am I being forceful enough to make it sound valid and plausible? Is someone suppressing me and my expressions? What if Im left out of the discussions? What if I never had a role to play in solving the problem? Will I be of any value at all? If Im not of any perceptible value, would I stay in the team?
The focus of the actions turns into one for existence. Survival is a big game - when one gets caught in a stampede! And the quest for survival could well turn into a game of power; and when it does, it does not remain a Team anymore!
The situation is a lot trickier than it sounds - and the onus definitely lies on the moderator to set a system up and running that values individual contributions and nourishes the team, simultaneously. However, the responsibility lies with every team member. And the key lies in something absolutely natural for human beings - "Listening Skills"!
Assertiveness is not about going for the jugular - and it is by no means about being Aggressive! Assertiveness is one's ability to be clear and concise about what one has to say - after having taken the opponent's views into consideration. Listening is as much a part of being assertive, as is conviction. For, the role of an individual in a group lies in his/ her contributions to the group - and not in promoting himself or herself through some Power Play!
